He's not looking for a rose
I
took the stairs, two at a time. Bolted into my bedroom and locked the door shut
behind me. With my back against the wall, sliding down to the floor, I felt
dreamy. Maybe this is what it feels like to be high on drugs? It was raining
outside. I peeled off my soaked clothes down from my dirty skin. I leaned
upwards and two hollow orbs pierced my vision. My mirror is reflecting the
innocence that I lost. My thighs were bruised and sore, I am no longer
untouched. I was sticky down there, where some of it had leaked out. My body
ached inside, but it was a good ache. A first time ache.
-
If walls could talk, they would
tell me that your love for me is like a rose. Where I bloomed vibrant enough
for you to see, where I bloomed vibrant enough for you to pluck. I would catch
your eye for one second to an hour and be left to rot under the sheets of a
budget motel. I may be reckless, I may be fearless, but my thorns won’t be
enough for you to turn back and bleed. I am not a cactus. I don’t hurt to feel
safe. I am a rose as red as heart. My scent would whisper promises into you but
we don’t speak the same language and I don’t have a lifetime to translate my
soul. My midnight sky surpasses your sunrises that you never wanted me to see,
but when you let someone look at your sky you trust them to admire your stars
and love you amidst the dark clouds that surround the pouring rain. You trust
them to be your sun. And your moon.
If walls could talk, they would
tell me to abort my favourite mistake. Aku tahu hidup engkau takkan senang sebab
engkau anak luar nikah, tapi aku selfish.
-
Terbang,
sayang.
Engkau
istimewa kerna engkau tidak sempurna.
The
world needs someone with heart as big as yours.
Tempuhi
dan rempuhilah wahai intan permata,
Seputih
salju, suci lagi dirimu.
But
your life would be better
Your
life would be simpler
Kalau kau
bukan
anak
aku.